I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
