I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
