he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
