Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
