Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize