yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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