seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
