I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
