Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
