just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
