No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
