lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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