you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she told me i tasted like america
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
