My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
