Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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