can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
