just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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