Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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