What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
