I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
