My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
