we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
