I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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