dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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