Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
