How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Randomize
