it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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