dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
