Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
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actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level