I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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