Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009