Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you

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  (267): census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you http://tfl.nu/5ryg
  Replies (23) Good night (980) Bad night (2094)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza

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  (703): Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza http://tfl.nu/9pba
  Replies (7) Good night (3098) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

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  (530): Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust http://tfl.nu/l0ps
  Replies (10) Good night (3679) Bad night (949)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Take that integrity

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  (216): So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever. (1-216): Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment. (216): Take that integrity http://tfl.nu/eyzw
  Replies (48) Good night (3138) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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  (913): Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it. http://tfl.nu/o6yg
  Replies (16) Good night (3456) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary

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  (214): I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you. (1-214): that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary http://tfl.nu/469f
  Replies (36) Good night (7880) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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  (267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo
  Replies (27) Good night (1112) Bad night (5116)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

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  (618): the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux http://tfl.nu/x72r
  Replies (13) Good night (7780) Bad night (998)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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  (240): boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill http://tfl.nu/6vp9
  Replies (148) Good night (3631) Bad night (12526)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..

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  (713): As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone.. http://tfl.nu/l9l0
  Replies (10) Good night (1074) Bad night (3449)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello

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  (585): Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello http://tfl.nu/squi
  Replies (17) Good night (1065) Bad night (9744)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".

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  (651): I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila". http://tfl.nu/xbgt
  Replies (1) Good night (1666) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???

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  (402): I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end??? http://tfl.nu/eolj
  Replies (4) Good night (1606) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  This is John, I met you downtown last night.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Oh, ok.

  (727): View more from Florida

  This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night

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  (727): This is John, I met you downtown last night. (407): Oh, ok. (727): This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night http://tfl.nu/3jh8
  Replies (11) Good night (2673) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

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  (832): No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even. http://tfl.nu/n3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (289)

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