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found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
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