Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit