the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins