I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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