dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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