So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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