Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
