if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
