Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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