My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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