i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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