She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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