yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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