Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was born a porn star she said
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
