It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
