problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
