I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
