My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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