God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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