its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
