Can i not drive my cunt home
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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