Have you finally orgasmed yet?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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