so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he puts the penis in happiness.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
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this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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