He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
