So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
