I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
