There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
