I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
bring money and cleavage
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
