im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
