talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
