Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
