Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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