Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize