Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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