This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize